My Journey - A Story of Failures to Success

My Journey - A Story of Failures to Success

No matter how many times you fall, always get back up!

They say success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. So I probably have enough experience in my life to open up an orphanage!

Now I’m not going to pretend that I was a total failure, especially during my school days. Heck, I got fine grades for my GCSEs – 4 A's and 4 B's including subjects such as Maths, English and Sciences.

A-Levels, though, were a totally different story.

Coming from an Asian background, it’s quite common for parents to, not necessarily control your future aspirations, but they do have a massive hand in “advising” you to choose which career you want to get into.

Doctor, Dentist, Pharmacist and Engineer are the most common ones. At first I was persuaded to pursue Dentistry. “Very good money in it, and you can even specialise, maybe become an orthodontist,” my father told me – a teenager with braces, who hated going to the Orthodontists every couple of months.

Let’s be honest, most people don’t willingly go to the Dentists just because they feel like it. I’ve never heard anyone say, “You know what? I really fancy getting my teeth checked today, can’t wait for someone to play around with small tools in my mouth!”

No offence to Dentists, that’s just what I thought as an immature teenager.

With the thought of becoming a Dentist in mind, I went on to choose my A-levels: Biology, Chemistry, Maths.

Oh boy.

I was naive enough to think that because I performed well in those subjects previously, I could apply similar effort and perform as well.

How I was in for a shock.

I found the subjects difficult. Really difficult, to the point I was losing motivation. I couldn’t apply myself as I wanted to anymore. I became more and more distracted – spending more time playing Fifa on my PlayStation, more time playing football with friends and less time studying.

So it came as little surprise when I got my exam results at the end of 1st year. Three U’s. The lowest grades you can get. Even worse than an F. Being absent from the exams would’ve looked better than this, I thought.

Although I expected the worst, I was still gutted. Not sure where the ray of hope came from in the first place, but it quickly evaporated. My parents weren’t too pleased either – that’s an understatement of the highest order.

My dreams of becoming a Dentist were over. My parents’ dreams too. No University I applied for would accept me now. I also did not meet the criteria for Pharmacy courses either. That was my Plan B.

I failed.

My first failure hit home. Hard.

After some time talking to teachers, discussing with family, mulling over my thoughts, I found some consolation. It came in the shape of Optometry. I could still get into University, but I would have to resit the first year. So I did.

I found Optometry much more interesting than the former occupations anyway. My uncle worked as an Optician throughout his career and I was quite intrigued when he’d tell us about his experiences. I managed to get work experience at a local Opticians to experience it first hand and I actually enjoyed it. I wouldn’t mind doing this at all, I thought.

But it wasn’t to be.

It was around this time that I lost my grandmother, who I was very close to. Naturally, I felt down and upset for a good while. I cried – something I hadn’t done for ages. Her passing took a lot out of me. Motivation and determination were at an all-time low. I tried harder during the rest of my time in A-levels, but fell short. I received slightly better grades, but nowhere near what was required.

I failed. Again.

This was probably the most disappointed I had ever seen my parents. I had certainly never felt disappointment in myself like this. I was stressed and worried. Worried for my future and what would become of me. What would I do for a living? I was mentally drained.

I tried to turn to my life-long passion of football as an escape. To try take my mind off things a little. Unfortunately, when I was a little boy I made the daft decision of supporting Arsenal of all teams. Most frustrating job in the world. Instead of helping, it actually makes things worse. (Hey, at least I didn’t choose Tottenham!)

I took a few days to speak to my teachers, discuss with my family again and see if there was any light at the end of what felt like a dark, almost pitch-black tunnel.

Then came a glimmer of hope. A college was offering a 1-year Diploma in Computing, providing you met their criteria. All I needed was good GCSE grades which, thankfully, was something I did have. Seemed about the only thing I had at the time. I was quite decent when it came to computers too. Maybe I had to be, considering my dad worked in I.T. most of his life, so I guess I got the knack from him.

A year on, I passed the course with flying colours, most modules with Distinctions. I felt I was finally in my element. I got accepted into the University I wanted to go to, where a lot of my friends were going or had gone to a year before. During college I was also working part-time in retail. For experience and to make a small earning on the side for myself. Not much, just some pocket money.

Things were finally looking up. I started Computer Science at University and was enjoying my course. The company I was keeping was friendly and helpful, and the exams and assignments were going well too.

During the Christmas period, however, a spanner was thrown into the works. I had to drop out of university for personal reasons. I was not in the right mental state to continue with education. I didn’t have enough willpower to carry on due to the unforeseen circumstances that arose. So I left.

Time had been wasted. Money too. Not to mention my effort.

Another setback in my life.

I needed a change so I decided to move out. To move to another city, in search for some peace and direction. I started working full-time in retail, but deep down I knew I always wanted to go back to university. Half-way through the academic year, this wasn’t possible so I waited a few months and applied again.

I got in!

A 4-year Computer Science course at University. A new lease of life. Yet another chance to be successful. This time, I wasn’t going to miss.

I completed my degree with a 2:1 grade. I especially loved doing Web Design and UI/UX modules. This was definitely what I wanted to be doing as a career.

I worked a part-time job throughout my degree to pay for bills, rent, and the rest. I also got married AND started a family WHILST I was at university.

Crazy right?

My wife and kids were the biggest motivation for me as I was able to juggle every aspect of my life from education to work to family life. An extra push for me to be successful. Not just for me – but most importantly for them.

I now create websites for clients whilst also doing UI/UX Design work. A job that I love doing, one that I’m passionate about. The fruits of success do taste sweet, but this is just the beginning of my career and the more I work, the more I learn and the more experience I get, I’m sure they will taste even sweeter.

For all the curveballs that life throws at you, some curve more than others. But one thing is certain. If you keep trying, keep pushing and overcome those hurdles. Nothing can stop you from reaching your goals.

In my case, the goalposts moved many times!

You cannot be successful if you haven’t failed or had setbacks in your life. That’s what shapes you, sculptures you into becoming the person you want to be.

Be grateful not just for the good moments in life, but for what may seem like the not-so-good moments too. You’ll learn to realise that they weren’t actually bad events. They were just lessons life taught you to become a better version of yourself.

Remember - there’s always darkness before the dawn.